Locking Up Girl Child For 20 Years

This past weekend was the big Homecoming dance at the local high school. Having two kids in high school, it was of course bound to be a big night at our household.

Luckily, this year, Boy Child decided to just go with a group of friends, and didn't really have "a date." So that was EASY. However, Girl Child insisted on going to the dance with her douchebag boyfriend. (For the record, he is not really a douchebag and is really a great kid, but since he is dating my daughter I feel that I am obligated to dislike him.)

Since we are the coolest parents in the world, of course all of the kids and their friends insisted on coming to our house for the picture fest and pre-dinner activities. I might also add that this fact created quite a hissy fit with one particularly bitchy mom that really wanted them all to go to her house. Jealous much?

I am happy to say that my daughter did not look like a slut. I did my part in helping to select a dress that was minimal on cleavage and maximum on straps, however I fell short in the down to the ankles requirement. As a result, I spent about two weeks trying to convince her to wear a pair of sweatpants under the dress.

I spend most of my time around her boyfriend trying to defend her virginity. They really love it when I use the word "deflower" every other sentence. Or maybe they don't love it. I always forget which it is.

Anyway, after seeing her looking so grown up and with a little punks arm around her and hand on her waste, I have decided that she will be locked up and the key will be thrown away for at least the next 20 years. We can re-evaluate after that.

Damn kids! Stickman out!