The timing couldn't have been more perfect. It appears that our house - according to Mrs. Stickman - will be uninhabitable for at least a week. This has something to do with a strange, yet foul, odor that has been wafting out of our upstairs bathroom since last night. Apparently - and I have no firsthand knowledge of this - the pungent odor supposedly has something to do with me and/or my butt.
As we were laying in bed last night, and Mrs. Stickman was still smelling this figment of her imagination, she kept giving me a dirty look. I'm not sure why.
We were watching Hell's Kitchen, and Gordan Ramsey was calling some lady a "fat, stupid f-ing cow." I asked Mrs. S if she would still love me if I talked to her like that. She said, "Yes. I would be so proud of you." I will translate that for you here now - "I would divorce you tomorrow."
Then I asked her if I were to fart right then in bed, would she still love me. She said, "I would divorce you tomorrow." I will translate that for you here now - "I would divorce you tomorrow." Of course, she claimed she was only saying this in the hopes that I would indeed NOT fart. Women!
So we are doing a road trip to Florida again this year. We've been trying different spots the last few years, but decided to do Florida again this year. It is normally about a 16 hour drive, but I am planning on it taking much longer this year. We plan to let the boy child make good use of his driver's permit, and do some of the driving. God help us!
The thing with his driving is that he will be setting the cruise control for 1 mile UNDER the speed limit. Why, you ask? I quote - "because one mile under is safe, but one mile over is breaking the law."
He knows how I am all about "making good time" so he warned me that it might take longer. I told him I had accounted for that, and that is why I only booked the condo in Florida for 2 nights. He, surprisingly, didn't find me funny at all. About the same response I got when I told him that when he pulls into traffic, he needs to go a little faster than 10 miles per decade.
I will attempt to post every day while I am on vacation. A special Spring Break Edition of the musings. I'll try to rub it in how warm it is, and how nice the beach is, and how good the drinks are. You'll love it! That is of course, if I'm not killed in a horrible car wreck on the way there.
Stickman out - of town!!
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Safe travels and have fun!
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